finally found my courage. I can’t let it be. My heart is pounding like a million
trillion beats a minute as I scoot closer to him. I bend my head down and
press my lips against his, and I feel his jolt of surprise. And then he’s kissing
me back, open-mouthed, soft-lipped kissing-me-back, and at first I’m
nervous, but then he puts his hand on the back of my head, and he strokes my
hair in a reassuring way, and I’m not so nervous anymore. It’s a good thing
I’m sitting down on this ledge, because I am weak in the knees.
He pulls me into the water so I’m sitting in the hot tub too, and my
nightgown is soaked now but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. I
never knew kissing could be this good.
My arms are at my sides so the jets won’t make my skirt fly up. Peter’s
holding my face in his hands, kissing me. “Are you okay?” he whispers. His
voice is different: it’s ragged and urgent and vulnerable somehow. He doesn’t
sound like the Peter I know; he is not smooth or bored or amused. The way
he’s looking at me right now, I know he would do anything I asked, and
that’s a strange and powerful feeling.
I wind my arms around his neck. I like the smell of chlorine on his skin.
He smells like pool, and summer, and vacations. It’s not like in the movies.
It’s better, because it’s real.
“Touch my hair again,” I tell him, and the corners of his mouth turn up.
I lean into him and kiss him. He starts to run his fingers through my hair,
and it feels so nice I can’t think straight. It’s better than getting my hair
washed at the salon. I move my hands down his back and along his spine, and
he shivers and pulls me closer. A boy’s back feels so different than a girl’s
back—more muscular, more solid somehow.
In between kisses he says, “It’s past curfew. We should go back inside.”
“I don’t want to,” I say. All I want is to stay and be here, with Peter, in this
moment.
“Me either, but I don’t want you to get in trouble,” Peter says. He looks
worried, which is so sweet.
Softly, I touch his cheek with the back of my hand. It’s smooth. I could
look at his face for hours, it’s so beautiful.
Then I stand up, and immediately I’m shivering. I start wringing the water
out of my nightgown, and Peter jumps out of the hot tub and gets his towel,
which he wraps around my shoulders. Then he gives me his hand and I step
out, teeth chattering. He starts drying me off with the towel, my arms and